Um…..
A Chinese herbal remedy called horny goat weed is a promising alternative to Viagra for impotent men, Italian researchers said on Monday.
Horny goat weed? My first thought is Muslim men and their field frolics. But would this be for the Muslim men, or their goats?
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
He’s so horny….
Sometimes, blowing your own horn is too much of a good thing. Glen Falls police said an upstate New York driver who was stopped for blowing his vehicle’s horn excessively was charged with driving while intoxicated.
Glens Falls police said Rodney Northey told them he was blowing his horn on a downtown street dotted with bars to let “people know he was in town.”
Officers on duty noticed, pulled Northey over late Saturday and found his blood alcohol content was point-23 percent, nearly three times over the amount for legal intoxication.
Northey was charged with aggravated DWI, a misdemeanor, and ticketed for excessively blowing his horn.
My only question is this…was everyone happy to know that “he was in town?” Ha!
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
How’s THIS for a getaway vehicle?
A man sprayed an armored car driver with pepper spray, grabbed a bag of money and escaped via inner tube down a river in Washington state.
Police spokeswoman Debbie Willis says the driver was robbed late Tuesday morning while leaving a Bank of America branch in Monroe.
The robber grabbed a money bag and ran about 100 yards to a creek that runs into the Skykomish (sky’-KOH’-mish) River.
One witness reported the man floated off on an inner tube. Another said he swam to an inflatable raft that may have been made from an inner tube.
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Did they think no one would notice?!?
Thousands of dollar bills stolen from a restaurant in California’s high desert could not have been more clearly marked: The Homestead had a tradition of customers writing messages on the currency and hanging it on the walls.
Authorities allege that didn’t stop 34-year-old Donald Dejarnette from using some of the cash last week to pay for – of all things – a court fine.
Kern County sheriff’s Sgt. Tyson Davis said a clerk immediately recognized the bills. Some even had “Homestead” written on them.
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Say it isn’t so!
On Wednesday, Utah will be the only state to ban the sale of fruity alcoholic drinks at grocery stores and convenience stores in an effort to keep them from minors. Those drinks also must have new state-approved labels on the front of the product that contain capitalized letters in bold type telling consumers the drinks contain alcohol and at what percentage.
Blasphemy, I say!
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Mark of the beast or just a cool road sign?
Is the Garden State Parkway the highway to hell? Or is the New Jersey Turnpike the road to damnation? Someone keeps stealing the metal signs at mile marker 66.6 along the heavily traveled toll roads, and the New Jersey Turnpike Authority is having a devil of a time keeping up with the thefts.
It’s been happening all over the country, particularly on roads with names like Route 666. Officials aren’t sure if the thefts are being committed by religious zealots upset about the number’s association in the Bible with the devil, by Satanic scavenger hunters, or by college students who think a ‘666′ sign would look cool in their dorm room.
Joe Orlando, a spokesman for the Authority, said officials have no idea who is taking the signs.
“Maybe it’s just some kids with a Devil-may-care attitude,” Orlando said.
It must be da DEBIL doing dat!
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
What’s up with Iowa?
A hug has landed an Iowa City man in hot water. An Iowa City man who thought a police officer just “needed a hug” faces several charges including assault on a peace officer and public intoxication.
Police said a 21-year-old man was arrested on Saturday. According to police records, the man ran up to the officer and stuck out his arms.
The officer told him to “get away,” but the man didn’t take the hint and embraced the officer.
Doesn’t love make the world go ’round?
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
I’ll bet this guy feels a bit sheepish:
Jeffrey Scott Haynes, 45, is serving a 2 1/2 – to 20-year prison sentence after pleading no contest to sodomy in 2006. He was found trespassing on a farm in Bedford Township in January 2005. The farmer called police when she realized one of her sheep was injured. A DNA sample taken from the sheep matched Haynes, a career criminal with convictions dating to 1985.
Now, common sense would tell you that Mr. Haynes is not required to register as a sex offender. After all, the victim was a sheep. PETA, of course, is having none of that! Here’s what People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’ director of the cruelty casework division, Martin Mersereau, had to say:
“I think the appellate court is being too literal in interpreting the letter of the law,” he said. “It seems in this case, it’s an issue of what’s good and right being constrained by verbiage. I believe their hands are tied in that regard, so I can’t blast them for that, but at the end of the day the community will suffer if people who abuse animals sexually aren’t on the radar.”
Mersereau said people who sexually abuse animals often do the same to humans.
“It seems about a dozen times a year we hear of cases involving people who sexually abuse a child, who have in the past done the same to a dog,” he said. “The two go hand in hand, and any time the law does not help contribute to the awareness of a predator in their midst, the community suffers.”
So, if Michigan considers a change to sex offender laws to include animals such as sheep, will the law state offenders have to stay a certain distance away from the circus, the petting zoo and the sheep farm?
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Especially when they are naked!
Bozo in the buff — all year long!
Seeking to raise money for MS research, 16 graduates from the Clown Conservatory have unveiled its 2009 naked clown calendar, which features the jolly jokesters posing in nothing but their birthday suits.
Um….this is for a good cause and all, but I have to ask. Who would go and buy a calendar of naked clowns? Just sayin.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
Here’s some food for thought…
A man who took his pants off before going out for doughnuts at a shop just north of New York City has pleaded guilty to public lewdness. John Greco admits he exposed his genitals in February while placing an order at a Dunkin Donuts drive-through in Yorktown.
Just what were you going to do with those donuts Mister???
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
If you stole a beer truck for beer and found that it was empty, wouldn’t YOU abandon it?
FARGO, N.D. (AP) – Police arrested a 21-year-old man for allegedly stealing a beer truck, then dumping the vehicle after determining it contained no cargo.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
This dude was charged with battery on a police officer after his most stupid stunt:
Cruz was pulled over by South Charleston police Tuesday for driving without headlights. After failing field sobriety tests, Cruz was taken to the station for a breathalyzer test.
The criminal complaint says that as a patrolman was preparing the machine, Cruz scooted his chair over, lifted his leg, passed gas and fanned it toward the officer.
Of course he bragged that he had passed the gas, but said it wasn’t aimed at the police officer. Nice.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
PETA’s at it again:
“The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “Everyone knows that ‘the breast is best,’ so Ben & Jerry’s could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk.”
In a statement Ben and Jerry’s said, “We applaud PETA’s novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother’s milk is best used for her child.”
So….two thoughts. Do PETA members put Momma’s milk in their coffee in the morning? Oh, and even though Ben and Jerry are libtards at least they have half a mind to say no.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
Men, get your Playboys because you can’t get your fix on the field:
Less than a month into the football season, the Idaho Vandals are undergoing another makeover after spectators complained that cheerleaders’ uniforms were flashing a little more than school spirit.
After the football team dumped the school logo from the buttocks of their new pants, the university in Moscow got complaints that new two-piece cheerleader uniforms were too skimpy.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
This week we celebrate: NATIONAL LOVE YOUR FILES WEEK
This week’s daily parties:
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
Who would have thunk it….Clay Aiken is gay. Film at 11.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
What a rewarding job policework is when you have “reached” someone:
Instead of having a hostile reaction, a driver offered his thanks when officers pulled him over on suspicion of drunken driving for a fifth time.
A criminal complaint quoted 52-year-old David Hyland of Plymouth as saying, “Thank you very much for everything you’ve done for me” after he was stopped early last Friday.
The complaint says he added, “I shouldn’t have been driving and deserve to get caught.”
Awwwwww….ain’t that sweet?
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
You just can’t make this stuff up!
It was the ultimate expression of road rage. A furious woman driver died after ramming another vehicle and spinning her wheels so fast that her own car burst into flames.
This woman had more issues than a little road rage, though, people:
Appalled onlookers urged her to get out of the car as the flames licked around her but she told them to “F*** off”, an inquest in Gloucester was told.
I guess you could say she went down in flames.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
Okay, the title of this article speaks volumes:
Rescue Planned for Woman Trapped in Home by Giant Pig
This is absolutely insane:
Caroline Hayes, 63, tried to leave her house in Uki, New South Wales, to use the outdoor toilet, but the animal bit her and shoved her back inside.
Bruce, who is the size of a Shetland pony, showed up at her home 10 days ago after his owners were unable to cope with him and let him loose in the rainforest.
Hayes began feeding the beast, but he became more aggressive, demanding more food and biting her on the leg when she tried to go to the toilet.
First of all, the pig’s name is Bruce. Secondly, he’s the size of a Shetland pony. Lastly, and most alarming…did you see she has to use an outdoor toilet?!?!?
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
What a nice little legal nightmare THIS is:
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Mark Poveromo feels ripped off twice over. A judge ordered him to repay money he collected from a builder convicted of stealing from him — and told him to kick in the thief’s attorney fees and court costs, too.
Okay….maybe it’s not an odd or funny story. Yeesh.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
JONESBORO, Ark. (AP) – A man acquitted a month ago of robbing a bank has been arrested in another robbery at the same bank. The man, 35, was accused of robbing Liberty Bank on Tuesday, police say.
The man was acquitted Aug. 21 of robbing the bank last October after employees could not positively identify him during his trial.
Bank robbing 101: Don’t rob the same bank twice, Dumbass!
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
At least this guy, who was caught when he got trapped trying to get into the Knoxville Museum of Art, could reach his cell phone to let them know he was trapped:
Police and firefighters reached the roof, found a rope and cable and followed them to a vent shaft. Peering inside, they spotted Smith about 45 feet down.
“Mission failed,” he told them.
Hoisted up and read his rights, Smith told police he was a “special agent from the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931″ and had rappelled onto the museum from a helicopter, a police report said.
He said he was following orders to “defuse and confiscate” a Soviet-made nuclear warhead, specifically a “MERV6SS-22AN” warhead, according to the report. The bomb supposedly was hidden in a blue, plastic cow sculpture in the museum basement, he said.
However, Smith told officers his “agency” called while he was in air-vent limbo to say it made a mistake and the bomb might be in a Memphis museum instead.
Now he’s held on a $2000 bond. I’m positive this is a case of mistaken identity.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
ROME (AFP) – The winner of a free funeral has not turned up to claim his prize after ticket number 11 was chosen in a raffle in southern Italy, an Italian newspaper reported Tuesday.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
DENPASAR (Reuters) – About 1,000 Balinese dressed in traditional sarongs rallied Wednesday to protest against a controversial anti-pornography bill that critics say could hurt local cultural traditions.
The anti-smut bill aims to shield the young from pornographic material and lewd acts, but also contains provisions that could jail people for kissing in public and criminalize many forms of art or traditional culture that hinge on sensuality.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
This week we celebrate: BALANCE AWARENESS WEEK
This week’s daily parties:
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
Um….duh?
WATERFORD, Mich. (AP) – A Waterford man told police his crack cocaine habit drove him to steal nearly 250 empty beer cans from a 7-Eleven store.
Police in the Detroit suburb say the 46-year-old man opened the door to an outside storage room at the store early Tuesday, grabbed a large bag filled with the cans, put them in his car and drove away.
One question there, Slick….how much crack would you have gotten for $24.70?
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
Sure you were….
Sheriff’s deputies in Yavapai County said a man picked the wrong place to take a nap, but he’ll now have plenty of time to catch up on sleep.
Sheriff’s spokesman Dwight D’Evelyn said in a statement that deputies responding to a burglar alarm at a gun and police accessories store in Prescott early Monday found an open window.
They found a 35-year-old man inside, smelling of booze and fast asleep. The man told deputies he had been driving and was just looking for a place to sleep.
He probably didn’t know quite what to say when they found gloves, a flashlight and a bag of stuff he was going to steal. Oh, and a few pesky warrants…..
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
The next odd couple?
Trafalgar Square routinely serves as a stage for mimes, jugglers and other acts, but the tourist attraction drew an exceptionally curious crowd Tuesday when the shortest man who can walk met the woman with the longest legs.
He is 2 feet and 5.37 inches tall. Her legs are taller than he is, with a length of 52 inches (more than 4 feet).
The world is a freaky, freaky place.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
Men…consider this when you don’t get the dishes done!
FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) – Police say a 20-year-old woman faces an aggravated assault charge after she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face and swung at him with a sword during an argument about him not doing the dishes.
Either that, or don’t have picture frames, find a girl with no teeth and don’t own a sword. Just sayin.
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
VALENTINE, Neb. — Boy, how people here wish their busiest vandal would find another way to make his mark. Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind – sometimes his groin, sometimes both – on windows. Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects.
“This is the weirdest case I’ve ever seen,” said police Chief Ben McBride.
Some residents of Valentine, a town of about 2,650 people, find some humor in the strange vandalism and have taken to calling the perpetrator the “Butt Bandit.” But they also can’t help but cringe when finding his marks.
“We were completely grossed out,” said Kalli Kieborz, who works in a downtown building. “One day I walked into the office and an employee said, ‘Oh, my God, we’ve been struck!’”
Categories: Show Piles September 2008
