Damsel in Distress!

This story is for the birds!

Neighbors called police Wednesday morning after hearing what they believed was a woman’s persistent cry of “Help me! Help me!” coming from a house. Officers arrived and when no one answered the door, they kicked it in to make a rescue, The Times newspaper reported.

Link

He was for cremation, before he was against it

Talk about raising the dead:

LONDON (Reuters) – A father mistakenly declared dead after going missing eight years ago has been reunited with his family after his son spotted him on television, police said on Thursday.
ADVERTISEMENT

The family of John Delaney thought he had died when he disappeared in April 2000. They held a funeral and cremation after police found what they thought was his body three years later.

But Delaney, 71, from Oldham, Greater Manchester, had in fact been admitted to hospital in a confused state 10 days after he was reported missing.

Suffering from amnesia caused by a head injury, he couldn’t give police any clues about his name, address or family.

When further police checks failed to uncover his identity, he was given the new name David Harrison and handed over to social services. They put him in a care home where he stayed for the next eight years.

Stupid Criminals: The “Lost Condom Breast” Edition

You just can’t make this stuff up!

Police in Port St. Lucie are on the lookout for a cross-dressing man who snatched a 74-year-old woman’s purse. As if that weren’t odd enough, they’re depending on a strange clue. The suspect left behind a condom filled with water he had been using as a fake breast.

Link

It Would Cost Him an Arm – Well at Least a Leg

Just what does it take to get your body parts back these days?

After being shot five times, a western Nebraska man had to go to court to get his prosthetic leg back from prosecutors.

The Box Butte County Attorney’s office gave Val McCabe’s leg back Wednesday after a judge ordered it returned.

McCabe’s prosthetic left leg had been held since Friday’s shooting because prosecutors wanted to run tests on it and a bullet lodged inside.

Okay, maybe not the funniest story evah, but how crazy to have to go to court to get your leg back?  Hadn’t he gone through enough being shot five times?!?!?

Link