Stupid Criminals: The “Deja Vu – Vuja De” Edition

JONESBORO, Ark. (AP) – A man acquitted a month ago of robbing a bank has been arrested in another robbery at the same bank. The man, 35, was accused of robbing Liberty Bank on Tuesday, police say.

The man was acquitted Aug. 21 of robbing the bank last October after employees could not positively identify him during his trial.

Bank robbing 101:  Don’t rob the same bank twice, Dumbass!

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At least this guy, who was caught when he got trapped trying to get into the Knoxville Museum of Art, could reach his cell phone to let them know he was trapped:

Police and firefighters reached the roof, found a rope and cable and followed them to a vent shaft. Peering inside, they spotted Smith about 45 feet down.

“Mission failed,” he told them.

Hoisted up and read his rights, Smith told police he was a “special agent from the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931″ and had rappelled onto the museum from a helicopter, a police report said.

He said he was following orders to “defuse and confiscate” a Soviet-made nuclear warhead, specifically a “MERV6SS-22AN” warhead, according to the report. The bomb supposedly was hidden in a blue, plastic cow sculpture in the museum basement, he said.

However, Smith told officers his “agency” called while he was in air-vent limbo to say it made a mistake and the bomb might be in a Memphis museum instead.

Now he’s held on a $2000 bond.  I’m positive this is a case of mistaken identity.

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Dead Men Tell No Tales

Would you claim it?

ROME (AFP) – The winner of a free funeral has not turned up to claim his prize after ticket number 11 was chosen in a raffle in southern Italy, an Italian newspaper reported Tuesday.

Balinese Have Their Priorities Straight

Pr0n!!!!

DENPASAR (Reuters) – About 1,000 Balinese dressed in traditional sarongs rallied Wednesday to protest against a controversial anti-pornography bill that critics say could hurt local cultural traditions.

The anti-smut bill aims to shield the young from pornographic material and lewd acts, but also contains provisions that could jail people for kissing in public and criminalize many forms of art or traditional culture that hinge on sensuality.