Entries from October 2008
Violate CAFE standards?
Police said a Comerica Bank branch was held up Friday, then the suspect jumped into the passenger side of a black limo, which sped away.
Police spokesman David Tull said the man escaped with an undisclosed amount of money.
The limo was also being sought.
Categories: Show Piles November 2008
But can they vote in Chicago?
PONTIAC, Mich. – Even the dead can’t escape foreclosure in suburban Detroit. Five bodies and the cremated remains of 22 people were evicted Friday from a funeral home in Pontiac.
The remains from the House of Burns Memorial Chapel were delivered to the Oakland County medical examiner’s office for storage. A medical examiner’s administrator, Robert Gerds, said some of the cremated remains date to the 1990s.
Categories: Show Piles November 2008
Being the bitter clingers that we are.
HEMET, Calif. – An officer at a San Diego County correctional facility who had complained about the barking of her neighbor’s dog was arrested after being accused of stealing the animal and abandoning it some 15 miles away.
Diane M. Brown, 42, was arrested on suspicion of felony possession of stolen property, Hemet police Sgt. Kevin Caskey said. She was booked Thursday and released on $5,000 bond.
Categories: Show Piles November 2008
Okay, not really.
MANITOWOC, Wis. – A 36-year-old man took revenge on his roommate after she refused to have sex with him by allegedly urinating on her dog, police said. Police said the man was arrested early Thursday morning on tentative charges of criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct related to domestic violence.
Categories: Show Piles November 2008
Heh!
A smelly rotten-egg gas in farts controls blood pressure in mice, a new study finds.
The unpleasant aroma of the gas, called hydrogen sulfide (H2S), can be a little too familiar, as it is expelled by bacteria living in the human colon and eventually makes its way, well, out.
The new research found that cells lining mice’s blood vessels naturally make the gas and this action can help keep the rodents’ blood pressure low by relaxing the blood vessels to prevent hypertension (high blood pressure). This gas is “no doubt” produced in cells lining human blood vessels too, the researchers said.
Categories: Show Piles November 2008
Weekly:
World Hearing Aid Awareness Week
Disarmament Week
Prescription Errors Education Week
International Magic Week
Peace, Friendship and Goodwill Week
Give Wildlife A Break Week
International Herpes Awareness Week
Daily:
U.N. Day – Oct. 24th
Cookie Monster Day – Nov. 2
Plan Your Epitaph Day – Nov. 2
Zero Tasking Day – Nov. 2
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
I for one, miss the bikinis.
Supporters of the Stockholm-based AIK ice hockey team scored an unusual hat trick of heckling on Tuesday night featuring dildos, profane banners, and a giant inflatable penis.
Categories: Show Piles November 2008
This week we celebrate:
- National Character Counts Week
- National Forest Products Week
- National Massage Therapy Week
- Synergy Week International
This week’s daily parties:
- International Day of Radiant Peace (10/22)
- International Stuttering Awareness Day (10/22)
- National Mole Day (10/23)
- International Bandanna Day (10/24)
- Cranky Co-Workers Day (10/27)
- Internet Day (10/29)
- Create a Great Funeral Day (10/30)
- Haunted Refrigerator Night (10/30)
- National Knock Knock Jokes Day (10/31)
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
But did they steal the cabana boys, too?
Police in Jamaica are investigating the puzzling theft of a beach on the island’s north coast.
An estimated 500 truck-loads of sand have been removed outside a planned resort at Coral Spring beach, reports the BBC.
Detectives say rivals in the tourism sector could be suspects, because a good beach is a valuable asset to hotels on the Caribbean island.
I wonder where they put it?
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
It must be a lonely date night in Michigan…
THOMAS TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) – Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after “receiving sexual favors from a vacuum” at a car wash.
The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County’s Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
I guess she was an obedient wife…
CENTENNIAL, Colo. (AP) – Authorities said a woman who shot her husband in the knee won’t face charges because he begged her to do it. The Arapahoe County Sheriff’s office said a 35-year-old woman accused her husband of being drunk and becoming violent during an argument.
She took control of a handgun during the dispute and claimed her husband begged her to shoot him and told her to ‘finish it’ after she fired a shot.
The sheriff’s office said the 34-year-old husband was uncooperative with deputies before he was taken into custody and hospitalized. He was now being held at the Arapahoe County jail after his wife accused him of forcing her into the bathroom and holding a gun to her head before the shooting.
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Oh NO he didn’t!!
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) – An angry wife or girlfriend might not be the only thing to worry about when visiting a strip club. A man suing a Pompano Beach club claims a performer’s shoe flew off during a pole dance, shattered the mirrored ceiling and caused glass and the shoe to hit him.
The lawsuit filed in Broward County by 35-year-old Charles Privette says the Booby Trap breached its duty when its employee failed to perform her routine in a reasonably safe manner. The suit seeks at least $15,000 in damages.
Did you get that? The name of the strip club is the “Booby Trap!” OMG!
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
This is a load of crap!
ST. CLOUD, Minn. (AP) – A man was ticketed for unlawful dumping after admitting to putting dog feces in his neighbor’s truck for political reasons. Police Sgt. Jerry Edblad said a 19-year-old St. Cloud man told police he has found small baggies of dog feces in the back of his pickup truck for the past few weeks.
Donald Esmay told KNSI-AM the feces started appearing in his truck right after he put a 2-foot-by-4-foot McCain sign there.
He and his family watched the truck trying to catch the culprit, but didn’t have any luck until Wednesday when his mother and brother saw someone from the neighborhood.
They confronted the 45-year-old man, who admitted to it and said it was childish.
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Another reason I love Scotch:
AMSTERDAM (Reuters) – While investors flee traditional markets such as stocks and commodities on growing recession fears, trade in rare bottles of whisky is flourishing.
Roughly 11 months after the launch of a Dutch online trade platform for exclusive single malt whiskies, mostly from Scotland, the World Whisky Index has seen an average return of 26.2 percent, compared to a more than 40 percent decline in the MSCI World stock index.
The money quote:
“While shares and obligations can become completely worthless, if bottles turn out to be not very valuable, you always still have the bottle to drink,” the spokesman said.
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
What could go wrong?
TORONTO (Reuters) – An Ontario woman was charged with a traffic violation after having her nine-year-old daughter drive her home following a night of drinking.
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Oh, those wacky, wacky, Iranians.
TEHRAN (Reuters) – Iran failed Friday to register what it said would be the world’s largest sandwich in the Guinness book of World Records after people rushed forward and began eating it — before it was measured.
Event organizers had planned to stuff the 1,500-meter-long sandwich with 700 kg of ostrich meat and 700 kg of chicken, and display it in a park in the capital Tehran.
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Hmmmm…..maybe you should have checked with the Better Business Bureau?
Two Indonesian men fell for a hoaxer who promised them work if they had dragon tattoos covering their entire faces.
They were told they would be employed as intelligence officers if they had dragons permanently inked onto their faces.
But after undergoing the painful process, it emerged that Nanang, 30, and Bambang, 40, had been the victims of a cruel hoax.
The man purporting to be a government official was actually a “mystic” who the two men believe put them into a trance in order to convince them to have the tattoos.
“I was half conscious when the shop owner tattooed my face, and didn’t think it was a con,” Bambang said. “I just realized it was a con on Friday night. I was shocked and I cried.”
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
I’m glad I ate my dinner some time ago!
LONDON (Reuters) – A man discovered making kebabs near a corpse has been banned from managing food businesses and fined 3,800 pounds, Wolverhampton City Council said on Tuesday.
Jaswinder Singh, 45, was found by police making kebabs at Pappu Sweet Centre and Catering in Wolverhampton in August in a kitchen where a dead man was lying on a sofa.
As well as the corpse, the policeman discovered another man smoking and spitting repeatedly on the floor, while in a room near the kitchen, a defrosting chicken, oozing blood and juices, was covered with flies.
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Ha!
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) – A judge has thrown out a Nebraska legislator’s lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn’t properly served due to his unlisted home address. State Sen. Ernie Chambers filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God.
He said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.”
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
I did ton of stupid things as a teenager, but nothing as stupid as this.
ASHEVILLE, N.C. – A 19-year-old Asheville teenager said she legally changed her name to CutoutDissection.com to protest animal dissections in schools.
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Obviously there isn’t enough in the news, so let’s talk about where your poo goes when you flush the toilet!
Rhode Island is offering tours of several wastewater treatment facilities during what its dubbed the first annual “Rhode Island Water Infrastructure Month.”
Tours of treatment plants this Saturday are in East Providence, Bristol and Narragansett. Other tours and educational programs continue in October.
As part of the festivities, the Narragansett wastewater operators team, “Fecal Matters,” also will compete in a national latrine-treating skills contest in Chicago against last year’s champions, the Rocky Mountain “Commode Commandos.”
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Whoops!
TROY, N.Y. (AP) – Who is running for president? In an upstate New York county, hundreds of voters have been sent absentee ballots in which they could vote for “Barack Osama.”
The absentee ballots sent to voters in Rensselaer County identified the two presidential candidates as “Barack Osama” and “John McCain.” In the United States, the best-known individual named Osama is Osama bin Laden, leader of the al Qaida terrorist group behind the 2001 attacks that destroyed the World Trade Center in New York City.
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Dood…..maybe you should cut back a bit!
A McDonald’s cashier called 911 after a Vero Beach drive-thru customer allegedly offered to pay for his meal with marijuana. The Indian River County Sheriff’s Office said the cashier called Monday with a description of the vehicle the suspect had been riding in.
A deputy spotted the vehicle, found marijuana in the car and arrested its occupant, 27-year-old Shawn Alexander Pannullo.
Pannullo was charged with possession of cannabis and posted $500 bail. It was unclear if he had an attorney.
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
I guess this is what they mean by splitting things equally?
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia – A couple in rural Cambodia has terminated their 18-year marriage with a divorce settlement that entailed sawing in two the wooden house they once shared, villagers said Friday. The husband, 42-year-old Moeun Sarim, has taken away with him all the bits and pieces of his half a house, said his 35-year-old wife, Vat Navy.
…at least relatives helped!
“He brought his relatives and used saws to cut the house in half,” she said, adding that she now owns the other half that is still standing. The house is made from wood with a tile roof and propped up on wooden pillars, a typical style for a Cambodian country home.
She said her estranged husband and his relatives, after ripping apart half of the house, carried all the debris to his parents’ house nearby.
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Um……ewwwwwwwwww!
Newly-crowned WBC champion Vitali Klitschko doesn’t pull any punches about the way he soothes his fists after a big fight.
The Ukrainian fighter, who won the title match Saturday after defeating Samuel Peter of Nigeria, admits that he wraps his hands with his 3-year-old son Max’s urine-infused diapers to reduce swelling. He says he got the idea from his grandmother.
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
This week we celebrate:
- National Chestnut Week
- National School Lunch Week
- Getting the World to Beat a Path to Your Door Week
This week’s daily parties:
- National Grouch Day (10/15)
- Boss’s Day (10/16)
- Dictionary Day (10/16)
- Mulligan Day (10/17)
- World Toy Camera Day (10/18)
- Sweetest Day (10/18)
- International Day of Radiant Peace (10/22)
- International Stuttering Awareness Day (10/22)
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Note to self: Don’t shake hands with the Brits from the North!
LONDON (Reuters) – People in the north of Britain are three times as likely to have hands contaminated with faecal bacteria than their compatriots in the south, scientists studying toilet hygiene said on Wednesday.
We’re happy to have brought you such cutting edge news!
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
I’m sure you have heard about Obama’s crazy supporters – their YouTube videos will preserve their lunacy support for a long time. We have choirs singing about the Obamessiah, we have students in fatigues doing a “routine” to Obama speech segments, we have little girls pledging their dedication to Obama for President, and it goes on, and on, and on.
I’m thinking, though, that this one might just take the cake:
What is this you ask? Here are a couple of bits of information from their website:
A one of a kind Obama rally and fundraiser as only San Francisco could produce. This event will include: top-notch DJs, all-night dancing, sensual/political performances, and features an O’s for Obama guided breath-gasm experience by Destin Gerek, the Erotic Rockstar. Because Change is C O M I N G ! ! !
…and then there’s this:
Participants will be guided into using breath, sound, and movement to access their erotic energy, raise its vibration, and circulate it throughout their entire bodies, culminating in a simultaneous group energetic breath-gasm. Sound too good to be true? Come and experience it for yourself!
We will be using the high energetic state to set a dual intention out into the universe. First, that of Obama being winning the general election and becoming the next president of the United States. Second, each individual’s own vision of the world that they want to be part of creating. This second intention will be placed out into the universe along with every other participant’s second intention, creating a collective vision larger and more powerful than that which any single one of us could have created alone.
This unique experience will unfold into an all-night dance party filled with sensual performances and DJs dropping sexy beats.
This is about more than Obama becoming the next president of the United States. As it says on the official Barack Obama website: “I’m asking you to believe. Not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington… I’m asking you to believe in yours.” This is our time to create change. This is our time to create the world that we want to be living in. Barack Obama is a piece of the puzzle. WE are the rest of the puzzle. Change is coming, so let’s come together.
And one more perspective from “Destin”:
“I’ve put in a lot of work to make this event as safe and accessible for as many people as possible.
Most everyone knows how to cum, but how many people know how to have a rip-roaring, full-body, high vibrational energetic breath orgasm all while fully clothed and without even touching their sex organs?
Not too many, but hundreds more WILL after the 24th.
I’m here to help you have an experience OUTSIDE of what you already know. Something that perhaps, you didn’t even know you were capable of experiencing. All this while promoting Obama for President.”
So…..do you think Barack Obama will make an appearance?
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
Talk about being a bit unlucky…
SEKIU, Wash. (AP) – A woman said she was shot in the leg by her stove. Cory Davis told the Peninsula Daily News she had just stoked her cast-iron heating stove Sunday when she heard a loud bang and was struck in her left calf.
Davis said a case of shotgun shells spilled about a month ago at her home and one must have landed in the newspapers she used to light the stove.
Link
Categories: Show Piles October 2008
